The Life Of The Party

In my message today I want to tell you about a business owner I met this past Tuesday at a networking event in Columbus, Ohio. I was in Columbus giving a seminar and attended the networking event immediately after. One of the first people I met at the event was Jay, the owner of a computer store.

Jay told me about his business and then turned his attention to me and what I do. As he asked me questions I could tell immediately how genuinely interested he was in what I do. There was something special about Jay and as I talked with other people at the event I couldn't help but notice how easy networking was for him. It seemed everyone at the event wanted to be around him. He had no trouble making contacts and getting business cards.

What made Jay someone that everyone else wanted to be around was his sparkling personality. Having a gracious and amiable personality is critical part to achieving success but yet it is often overlooked.

As part of your own self-development you should ask yourself if you have trouble making friends? When you're at a social event and you walk over to a group or people are they happy to see you or do they disperse as if you have a some sort of a plague? If you answer yes to either of these questions here are some tips that will help you.

* Build up your poise by learning that a smile and shrug go a long way toward turning an awkward moment into a "no-account" incident, particularly if you have to cope with that moment. When you show you don't take yourself and what happens to you too seriously, you put others at ease.

* Don't hold grudges, and don't spend your time keeping bitter moments alive. No matter how justified your hurt feelings may be, dwelling on them only makes you unhappy. You pass on negative feelings to others through your conversation and actions. People usually find a way to dodge a negative person.

* Don't be quick with a sarcastic quip at someone's expense. It's a tip-off to your own self-dissatisfaction. Building up your ego by undercutting others is a sure way to lose friends and influence others, against you.

* Don't be critical. The old saying that you can't really understand another person until you've walked in his or her shoes teaches us to avoid sitting in judgment of others.

* Practice using your voice to make only pleasant remarks.

* Don't insist on having the last word about everything. Even if you're right, some things are better left unsaid. You never have to apologize for what you don't say.

* Always be interested and not interesting. Don't talk about yourself unless you're asked, rather always ask questions and be interested in the other person.

Having a pleasant and enjoyable personality is not something that just happens, you have to work at it. Developing your personality comes from continuous self-development and constant acts of kindness and consideration on your part for others.

Success can only can only be achieved through other people. The more people you know who know you in a favorable way the more successful you will become. It all starts with having a pleasant and enjoyable personality.